The crazy card game where if it fits, you sits!

Coming to Kickstarter in 2024!
Follow our preview page to be notified on launch:

The Dick Sits: The Ultimate Quest for Dick Domination

Are you ready to push the boundaries of absurdity and laughter? Look no further than “The Dick Sits” – the most outrageous card game you’ll ever play! Get ready to embark on a horny and insatiable quest as a BUTT, aiming to sit on DICKS and become the ultimate dick conqueror. The goal of the game is to stretch your hole to the maximum by becoming the player who sits on the most dicks.

Why should you play “The Dick Sits”?

Unleash Your Inner Comedian: “The Dick Sits” is not your average card game. It pushes all boundaries and takes humor to a whole new level. If you’re tired of playing  it safe with traditional card games, then here is your chance to step into a world of sexual absurdity.

A Unique Gameplay Experience: Roll the dice and keep rolling with laughter. With its simple yet addictive gameplay mechanics, “The Dick Sits” offers endless fun for parties, game nights, or whenever you’re in need of a good laugh.

Unpredictable Twists and Turns: Every game of “The Dick Sits” is filled with unexpected surprises. From tearing your anus to strategic drawer card plays that allow you to gain advantages, you’ll never know what’s coming next. Brace yourself for outrageous moments that will keep you on the edge of your seat (or butt)!

What’s Inside the Box?

• A beautifully designed game box featuring a strategically placed glory hole where the dice are pushed through, setting the tone for the game’s audacious nature.
• Easy instruction cards to guide you through the gameplay seamlessly.
• A deck of butt character cards and a slider for each player to track their score, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the role of a butt on a quest for dick domination.
• A deck of dick cards, creatively designed to bring humor and excitement to the table.
• A deck of drawer cards that add strategic elements to the game, allowing you to either help or hinder your opponents.
• A dice for determining your fate as you sit on dicks.
• And, of course, a whole lot of laughter and unforgettable moments!

The Dick Deck

The Dick Deck contains all the Dicks to be Dominated!

Butt Dials

The current design of Butt Boards with an easy-to-use stretch value dial

Drawer Deck

The Drawer Deck provides you with all the tools you’ll need on your quest!

Join the Movement

By backing “The Dick Sits,” you’re not just supporting a game; you’re joining a movement of people who embrace humor, absurdity, and the freedom to push boundaries. We believe that laughter knows no limits, and “The Dick Sits” is here to prove it!

Embrace the Absurdity: Mastering “The Dick Sits” Gameplay!

Gameplay That Takes the Cake: Prepare yourself for an outrageously funny gameplay experience with “Dick Sits”! The rules are simple, but the laughter is anything but. Here’s how it goes:

Draw a Dick (if no Dick is visible) and Choose Sit or Sh*t:

• When it’s your turn, if no Dick is visible, draw a Dick card. After that, you have a choice to make. Will you Sit or Sh*t? The fate of your butt rest in your hands!

If Sitting:

• If you choose to Sit, get ready for the glorious moment of pushing the dice into the Glory Hole. Slide the box to the next player, building anticipation for the outcome. But wait, there’s more!
• Everyone May Now Play Their Drawer Cards: Now it’s time for some strategic maneuvers. All players can play their Drawer Cards, adding a twist to the outcome. Will you help yourself or hinder your opponents? The choice is yours!
• Once Finished, Reveal the Dice and Calculate Stretch Value: The moment of truth has arrived. Lift the box and reveal the dice result. Add the result to your Stretch Value, taking into account any modifiers caused by the Drawer Cards in play. Will your stretching skills measure up to the challenge?
• Sit Success: If your dice result is equal to or higher than the Dickficulty, rejoice! Your Sit is successful, and greatness awaits. Gain 1 Stretch Value, score a point, and bask in the glory of sitting on that victorious dick!
• Sit Failure: If the total result is lower than the Dickficulty, your Sit is deemed unsuccessful. Lose 1 Stretch Value, as your stretching skills take a temporary setback. The Dick remains, ready to taunt the next player who dares to sit upon it. It’s a reminder that not all stretches end in triumph.

Anal Tear Alert: The Perils of Dice Rolling – Beware the treacherous roll of the Dice! If you happen to roll a 6, an Anal Tear awaits you. This unfortunate event leads to missing your next turn, as the pain and discomfort take their toll. Remember, even in the world of “Dick Sits,” stretching has its risks.

If Sh**ing:

• Sh**ing Strategies: Clean Breaks: When players decide to Sh*t instead of Sit, it’s time for a clean break. Discard any visible Dicks on the table, clearing the way for new challenges and opportunities.
• Relax while you take a Sh*t: If your stretch value has dropped, you get to bring it back up to its starting value every time you choose to sh*t,

Recharge:

To wrap up the turn, players replenish their options and pick up as many Drawer Cards as they have used since their last turn plus 1. It’s a chance to strategize and plan for the next round of stretching adventures.

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